Fresh Start

I stole this headline from Yahoo….It read “The World Gears Up For a Fresh Start For America”. I think that sounds great. Fresh starts…..

This morning I am feeling much more balanced having bawled any and all tears out, slept like a baby (and for the first time since this happened I was able to sleep past 8, and even go back to sleep!), got a shower (a first in 2 days-not too bad I guess), put on a little makeup, slapped on some of my favorite jewelry, and put on my brand spankin’ new TWO BY TWO sarcoma awareness campaign t-shirt. I feel pretty darned good. And this is how I’m going to vote! Another good start to the day. Kurt is taking me, the good bro he is.

I know this is night and day difference on my reflections from last night, but unfortunately, it’s the grieving process. That, and the meds haven’t kicked in yet :).

All I can tell you is that this morning….I woke up just wanting to remember the good times. I woke up wanting to remember Kev & I’s fresh start HERE in America. I want to come home next week from Winnipeg, with all this medical equipment and junk GONE because THOSE are not the memories of Kevin. Yes, they are fresh, so of course that seems all consuming to me now. But Kevin LIVED for those 4 months greater than anyone you and I have ever known. It just so happened we had some extra baggage to carry along during that trial. And that baggage needs to go, because I just want to remember Kev for Kev. Not for the tubes, and wires, and patches, and sterilization, and hospitals, and doctors and nurses and chemo. And that’s even all of it. THAT is not Kev. I just want to Keep it Kevin.

So, Keep it Kevin today with me. And don’t forget to vote for your fresh start!

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Brenda Sieglitz

Brenda Lee Sieglitz is an author and public speaker whose topics focus on travel, grief, and nature. Widowed in 2008 at 24 years of age, Brenda is an advocate for sarcoma patients, the widowed community, and conservation through her volunteerism with the National Park Service, Lancaster County Conservancy, Pennsylvania Master Naturalist, Hospice of Lancaster County, Soaring Spirits International, Angiosarcoma Awareness and Highmark Caring Place. Brenda won the 2009 Associated Content “Content of the Year” award, and in 2011 was named one of Wyndham Women’s “Women on their Way”. Most recently her love and loss memoir, Ebb from the Shoreline, won 1st Place Editor’s Choice in Nonfiction at the 2014 North American Book Awards. Sieglitz holds a degree in business and became a Pennsylvania Master Naturalist in 2015. In her spare time, she adores playing with her two nieces, going on family adventures with her husband, stepdaughter and son-in-law, hiking, camping and is working to complete her bucket list dream of visiting all National Park units. Sieglitz has been married to her best friend Dave since 2013 and continues to reside in Lancaster County with their two beagles Scotch and Fina.

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Comments 4

  1. Mauima (Deborah) November 4, 2008

    Brenda,

    Remember the good…This will be my prayer for you today and every day.

  2. Lindsey November 4, 2008

    Hey, I love the phrase “Keep it Kevin” – When I was in New Orleans we’d always say “Keep it Hood”, pretending we knew how to do that. You, on the other hand, are the perfect one to know how to Keep it Kevin, and I pray that that phrase will uplift and help you always. So, Girrrrrrl, just KEEP IT KEVIN!

  3. Nan November 4, 2008

    Take that beautiful smile with you to Canada! I’m glad you’ve had some good moments today. God is with you and will help you keep putting one foot in front of the other.

    Nan (No more ‘Mrs. J’…we’re friends now!)

  4. April November 4, 2008

    Your new phrase…Keep it Kevin…its awesome! And you, Brenda, amaze me the more I read your blogs! Just when it seems like you can’t go any further you pick up your pieces, call on God, and keep right on truckin’. You are a true inspiration! I know that we are not close but I am honored to know you and can say that I love you! 🙂

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