I wear a badge of honor that says, “Widow”. It was stamped on me over a year and a half ago, and I wear it with pride. It is a part of my life, a part of who I am on this day, something I have earned with all of its heartache.
But my badge of honor needs to get put on the shelf sometimes. I like being defined as human, as woman, as writer, blogger, musician, heartfelt chica with a past-not necessarily as ‘widow’. It’s a badge I have earned no doubt, but not one that defines myself.
I like the fact that I’m putting it away-that I have found myself in my own skin, not just wearing the veil of widowhood. I have found dreams again, things I love to do that are specifically me, and people who appreciate me as Brenda, not as widow.
I like that I’m hanging up that part of my life-that I’m learning to not use it as an excuse, but instead, to use it as a tool that has helped me learn so much about life and relationships. I wonder what my next brownie badge will be?