The wonderful joy of widowhood pops up at times I do not expect. I recently filled out a form for financial aid towards my gym membership, one that had been approved about 8 months ago during my first 6 months at this gym. It was now denied. I only make $1/more hour since that application. The reason? My 1040 which shows Kevin’s pension payout that went to pay for his funeral.

I explained this in the form, but because of this, my application was denied. I have questioned it, and asked for resubmittal. After discussion with an employee at the gym, she said to submit 3 pay stubs and ask that it be reviewed strictly on my pay scale now, not on my prior 1040.

Stuff like this happens a LOT to widows. We are forced to constantly explain how widowhood has screwed up our current life, and for many of it, it comes down to major financial burdens. Letters get sent to healthcare companies explaining there’s no money left, don’t bother to come after, and tons of other scenarios that widows have shared with me: yet, we still have to explain away nickels and dimes to move forward.

As if this process isn’t hard enough, even something like going to the dentist can turn into a process, as you forgot to tell him your husband died, and no you don’t have kids. It comes up, and almost never am I prepared to deal with and to argue my way through why widowhood has brought me to this point.

Let’s give the widdas a break.