Life without a Calendar

I escaped. Me and another widow packed our bags and hit OCMD this weekend for a great spur of the moment beach trip, and despite the 9 inches of snow, it was perfect. Heck, even with it, it was perfect. Sometimes you need a getaway, and especially one that’s completely random.

My schedule is packed and it doesn’t leave much room for spontaneity anymore. I like living without a calendar, but it is not possible for me. Maybe someday? It is honestly something I strive towards. It is not an act of carelessness, but just being free to do what calls when it calls, and that is true freedom to me.

My brain has constantly been tossing around the thoughts on bachelor’s degree, tuition, timing and nothing seems to balance correctly. I can take more classes, and have less time and spend more money to be done faster, or I can take less classes and have more time and spend just as much money longer, or I can do none of those an possibly await a job that may pay for tuition, or I can chase what my heart calls.

I am still not sure if my heart calls “writer” or if it’s my recently recognized title that seems to do that, but either way, it’s on the top of my list for the future. A free life of writing. I know it may not guarantee America’s version of success, that I may never breach my meager salary, or any of those things we see as important: but since Kevin, none of those are important to me. I keep them closeby because it helps me have a better perspective of those around me, but if I let that perspective go would I stll be here in Lancaster at a 9-5 that’s blase just trekking through trying to find some finality in accomplishment? No, I doubt that’s what I’d be doing.

I may still be here, but I’d have the laptop glued to my fingers cranking out articles, and working on my book sipping coffees as I can afford them and soaking up culture and life around me. I’ve never wanted money, I’ve only ever wanted to get by and be comfortable. If you knew my salary, you’d know that I’m definitely keeping with THAT goal! But besides all that, I’m started to debate my year of preparedness. Is it really that? Or is it my year of fearing the leap?

Brenda Sieglitz

Brenda Lee Sieglitz is an author and public speaker whose topics focus on travel, grief, and nature. Widowed in 2008 at 24 years of age, Brenda is an advocate for sarcoma patients, the widowed community, and conservation through her volunteerism with the National Park Service, Lancaster County Conservancy, Pennsylvania Master Naturalist, Hospice of Lancaster County, Soaring Spirits International, Angiosarcoma Awareness and Highmark Caring Place. Brenda won the 2009 Associated Content “Content of the Year” award, and in 2011 was named one of Wyndham Women’s “Women on their Way”. Most recently her love and loss memoir, Ebb from the Shoreline, won 1st Place Editor’s Choice in Nonfiction at the 2014 North American Book Awards. Sieglitz holds a degree in business and became a Pennsylvania Master Naturalist in 2015. In her spare time, she adores playing with her two nieces, going on family adventures with her husband, stepdaughter and son-in-law, hiking, camping and is working to complete her bucket list dream of visiting all National Park units. Sieglitz has been married to her best friend Dave since 2013 and continues to reside in Lancaster County with their two beagles Scotch and Fina.

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