I guess I never expected life to turn out this way. In fact, I know I never expected this. I did not know life could be hard or difficult. I was happily sheltered from that when I was younger. We had what we needed, a few extras when we were able, and we got through. I never knew the bad.
I always dreamed (circa 15 years old) that I’d go to Northwestern University, take over for Katie Couric when she either quit or retired (when she quit I was secretly vying her job) and travel the world reporting the news. I’d also somewhere in there marry the man of my dreams, have oodles of beautiful blond curly haired kids. I would not know the word cancer in my direct language.
I didn’t get into Northwestern. Meredith Veira took my dream job, then left it. I married the man of my dreams and we had no children, then he died. Cancer hit closely about a half dozen times starting when I was 17.
This isn’t a pity party. This is life.
If we all added up the things we never expected out of life I do believe each of our lists would show an add up of some pretty shitty circumstances. In there may too be some gems that we never expected either! This is life.
I never knew that growing up could be quite so hard or give me so much variety or life experience in my few years. I feel much less mature than I imagined at 27, but some days way too mature for my 20 something life. Some days I’m still the daughter, other days I’m the widow. It comes and goes, and it is my life.
When I walked out of my apartment this morning I expected humidity, as is always the case in Central Pa this time of year. Instead I was met with cool spring-like breezes without an ounce of stickiness. It was unexpected.
Sometimes the unexpected can be good. Sometimes it’ll rock you off your feet. I’ve been rocked a few times, and I haven’t fallen completely on my ass (except when attempting to snowboard). This is life, beautifully and horridly unexpected. I’m gonna roll with it.