The trip to Kevin’s hometown of Winnipeg was good, but tough, as is anything involving the reminder of his passing. My parents and I drove a scenic route North through Sault Sainte Marie, Ontario and across Thunder Bay and the Whiteshell into the Winnipeg. The last day of travel, I felt a weariness come over me, a feeling of depression. The last time I was here was for his memorial, the time before that he was with me, but experiencing the first symptoms if his cancer. I have to say that by now, most of the good memories of Winnipeg are much overshadowed by the sad ones.
However, seeing some of his friends, his mom and brother, and getting a tiny bit of closure from those who have failed to keep in touch, was completely worth the depression I felt while I was there. My parents enjoyed seeing a new town, I got to visit with one of my best friends and to see her new home, and I even got to eat at the best Ukrainian restaurant anywhere.
The trip home, was susprisingly, just as depressing. Saying goodbye to Kevin’s mother I felt a deep sadness. In a sense, us closing up our time too was just as sad as me coming there in the first place. It wasn’t goodbye, but there I sensed a distance between us, as we both move forward in our lives. We’re forever family, but that tight link that bonded us before did not seem as strong.
A 10 day “vacation” I would not say it was. I am glad to have gone, to have visited his hometown, seen his friends, caught up with my friends, and had the comfort of his family nearby. Now I have some closure, some more forward motion, but still a worry for them, wondering how we’ll all continue to move forward without Kevin.