I realized today that I really suck at make decisions on my own. I can’t just speak out “YES” or “NO” without seeking further input on a decision. Maybe it’s because I’ve been known to be too spontaneous for my own good. Or because I’m fearful that I’ll make the wrong decision, so at least I can fall back on the others and feel that I sought out all the information I could at the time.
As I emailed friends and family this morning about the overwhelming feelings I have about working multiple jobs, I know deep down this is a decision I need to make, but with a plan. Not just a career decision, but a faith decision. Trusting not only in myself, but in something higher to guide my path even if I feel I’ve made the wrong decision. Trusting that I will be provided for. Trusting that doors will open when the timing is right.
Trust. Decisions. Both things I am not so good at.
I constantly worry about being assumed lazy, inadequate, or not doing enough. I don’t know what I need to do to prove to myself that I have never been any of the above? How often do I need to open doors to feel overwhelmed before I see that I am doing all I can and beyond what I should?
How do you?