I am so happy the wonderful season of spring here, even if it does bring in too many allergies!
Even though it’s chillier today, it’s still downright beautiful. My spirits have truly been feeling lifted. I’m just trying to keep all my focus right now on figuring out what I want out of this Chapter 2 of life.
I was thinking I should really make a list of things I want out of this new life. Things I desire for myself, things I hope to do or accomplish, places I want to see….just the things about life that I would like to do before..well….I join Kevin :).
Running through my mind right now in no particular order…
- Apply for financial aid/scholarships
- Finish my degree. I’m 1 full time semester away from my associate’s in business-I’m thinking I may as well finish it, and then transfer into the accelerated degree program with Eastern possibly in Bus. Management or Organization Development.
- Organize a team sarcoma event for this year, or at least participate in raising awareness for it
- Sign up for the ice hockey newbie course and see if I’m any good to play
- Travel back out to Montana and see my old friends
- Travel to Winnipeg and Toronto to see Kevin’s family regularly
- Make time to be with my family
- Reach out to other widows and those suffering from cancer
- Get into physical and healthy shape and take care of myself better
- Write Write Write
- Purchase a keyboard to keep playing piano
- Practice my tuba more often and get involved in a local community band or orchestra
- Get to the beach and attempt to surf fish on my own if I can do it
- …………..be in the here and now.
I’m not saying I plan to do all these things at once, THAT would be insane. But it doesn’t mean I can’t get back into the things I love, the things that intrigue me or I’m interested in, and so on.
I want to learn to BE in the here and now. I want to remember, and honor, but I want to take some steps to move forward. To be free of this anguish. It’ll never be gone, I know that, but I want to live again.