I feel like I am in a constant state of transition.
If it’s not something new, it’s something new I want. I seek it out.
I thought this Summer would be filled with possibilities, and it is, just not what I expected. I’m booked, pre-planned, not much room for spontaneity.
But then I see that spontaneity used to be my escape routine. Leaving room to escape.
I’m not escaping anymore, and I guess that scares me more than anything.
I’m committed to this life.
To moving on. To love. To career.
I’m committing to family.
To future. To dreaming.
Marking things on my calendar says ‘I’ll be there’, or I will at least try attend.
It signifies that things are important enough to dream of them.
Instead of dreading them, and looking at ways in which they may disappoint me, I am trying to see how these things will enrich my life.
Lots of family commitment.
That’s important. To me. It doesn’t have to be to everyone, but it is to me.
To the boy. To our future. To dreaming of creating that with someone else again. To commitment to allowing all of myself in our life together.
To my faith. Accepting that God isn’t out to get me. That I can sit on His shoulders and trust him to uphold me.
To my career. To acknowledging my strengths and using them to advance my career, my skills, my income.
To travel. Exploring the world beyond my front door and learning and expanding from those expeiences.
To living. To living. To living.