The lake was still frozen, but I was sunshiney, alive.
My leg is numb but the rest of me is ready to roll.
Why can’t it all connect?
Today I found out I *may* have a pinched nerve. It *may* also lead to surgery. I DO have to go to Physical Therapy. I DO have to restrict myself from lifting, sitting too long, walking too much, doing ANYTHING too much. If I don’t listen to this numb leg of mine, I could have many bigger problems ahead.
I am kicking myself. Self pity of course. Why didn’t I slow down before now, why couldn’t I have taken better care of my health, why did this happen to me, will I feel my leg again? Of course, it’s only been 24 hours of numbness. Some people go their entire lives with a symptom such as this. My body has always functioned-maybe not perfectly, but I could get by. This though, this is different. I can’t feel parts of my body. That’s freaky scary.
I can only do the work now that I should have done before. I can only take care of myself, give myself grace, stop and slow down. I can only do what I can do and the rest is up to you know who.
The lake thawed eventually, and I still have sunshiney moments. Maybe the two will connect soon again in my life.