4 years ago was a tough Thanksgiving. I had nothing to feel thankful about, having recently lost Kevin. 2 Thanksgivings ago was another toughie, having lost my widowed Grandmother, who around any holiday, gave me that comforting knowing look; a look that told me she understood what I was feeling even when I felt like no one did.
This Thanksgiving is completely different. I have much to be thankful for; family, friends, a fiance. There is nothing about this year that I want to discount due to my loss. I think of my family up North who is missing their son, brother, but I am thankful for them, that they congratulated me with authenticity on my recent engagement, that I was just as excited to share the good news with them, as I was my blood family.
Family is what you create it to be.
The past year I learned more about what to let go, what to pursue, and saw more fault in the person I had become than ever before. I could see the negative personality traits that were either created or enhanced by my grief. Selfishness. Impatience. Unhealthy deserve level. I could see my greed.
While it’s not easy to let habits go this year I am thankful for awareness of the changes I need to make, the compassion I seek to give. But let’s get down to the really fun stuff; I’m thankful for my boy. I’m am thankful that I somehow love the won lottery and am enjoying a second great love in my life. I am thankful that I was able to unblind myself from my grief long enough to see the great man in front me and to hold onto him. I am thankful for his ability to love all of me; past, present, future.
My family has given me much to be thankful for; their support in infinite ways. The family that has grown both in blood and through friendship ties.
Thankful for my friends who show me love in spite of myself, who provide me fun, laughter and hugs, especially when I need them most.
For a career that has binded me some amazing people, has given me a confidence in my skills and abilities, and provided for my financially to unleash debts that have been weighing me down.
Nature and Dreams; for me, these have combined. Moving my volunteer responsibilities to the National Parks system and being able to to be healthy enough to get out, walk, hike, and now RUN! Nature has provided me healing and growth.
Oh Life is so good, and today, I am not discounting that for anything.
Happy Thanksgiving Day!