This week I moved all but some books and camping gear into the apartment. 2 car loads, just over 2 hours and what felt like a thousand times up and down the stairs. Wowza! I stuck with it, and unpacked, stinkbugs and all, everything but the Christmas stuff (waiting for that perfect seasonal moment to put up everything). Part of the stuff unpacking was extremely difficult: the wedding cake topper, a medallion Kevin got in the hospital, letters we wrote to one another, so many momentos of our past life. It gave me the chance to cry, to remember the good times, but also to set up a small spot in the living room just for him with his picture, a candle for him, a candle he gave me, and one of the willow tree angels. It’s a small memorial, but one that makes me feel like he’s here, a small part of him, a happy part of him.
This week I also started the complete part of my ‘get healthy’ lifestyle. I have done 4 days straight of staying under my nutrition allotment that I follow on sparkpeople.com. I am SO PROUD of myself. I also joined the Y today and it felt good to sweat. I’ve even lost a few pounds already and am pushing forward. While before it felt like such hard work to make this healthy life change, having passed the year, I am ready to live my life, in some new skin.
It feels good. Reorganizing life, honoring him, and best of all, getting to know the new me.