Now What?

I returned yesterday from 4 special days in San Diego attending Camp Widow.  When I arrived, I was overwhelmed.  I had hoped I would see faces and just “know” who they were.  I was hoping I wouldn’t feel lost.  I was hoping I could instantly connect.

It took just a few hours, but soon, I was doing all those things.  I put names to faces of those whom I had been developing friendships with online for the past several months and years.  I hugged widows who I did not know because they or I needed one.  I cried over similar stories when my heart reached out to them in understanding.  I laughed at the dead husband and wife stories that only widows could laugh at.

When almost everyone went home, and my dear friend and I were left with only a few others, I felt sad.  Sad that I couldn’t connect as much as I had.  I was also overwhelmed in a new way.  How was this going to change my future?  Issues had been brought to my attention that I had been battling and now I had some tools to face them, and courage to as well.

My brain is still wrapping itself around this past weekend and how it will change how I move forward in widowhood.  How I let it go, but also how I embrace it.

It was worth it all – it was better than I imagined, and also more difficult than I imagined.  It was a lot of amazing moments.  Now, to process.

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Comments 2

  1. Hey Crazy! 🙂 You step forward into a new day with new insights on yourself and yoru path. So great to see so many amazing men and woman surviving and thriving and standing up and moving forward. So great to meet you and put faces to names. Or faces to FaceBook!

  2. I’ve had a hard time this week bouncing back from our experiences at Camp Widow. I can’t pinpoint exactly why, but it’s a struggle. While it’s a struggle with sadness, I also feel it’s filled with hope. I know you will process this all and come forward armed with tools to make you even more amazing than you already are. I am so glad to know you and call you my friend! <3

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