Surviving Valentine’s Day Without a Valentine

The first Valentine’s Day alone after my husband passed away was just three months prior. February 3 was our wedding anniversary which was one hit, and Valentine’s Day came shortly after, causing an excruciating blow by blow. I had no ambition to celebrate the holiday at all, but rather than choosing to ignore it, I banded together my single girlfriends for an anti-Valentine’s Day.While I understood the “cute” holiday as a great day to remind myself of the importance of my companion, without having my husband by my side, it became yet another reminder of what I had lost. I did not want to anti-celebrate in a cliche way, but instead, to have fun, and let loose with other singles.

We chose an unlikely place to find couples: a local dive bar with great food. We invited our boisterous, and entertaining, single male friends of whom there was no romantic interest. We drank. We ate. We laughed. We celebrated singlehood, as much as it pained me that first year.

For anyone being single over an in-your-face holiday like Valentine’s day, t is not an easy holiday to embrace. Choosing an anti-holiday setting may just give you the release you need, and a celebration you need more.

Friends are important to have around over painful times such as these. Pick a few close friends who can relate and understand your journey, and most important, are also single. It may be hard to do, but you can guarantee that they need a night out as well.

Pick a place where you will not be surrounding by lovey dovey couples, or cupid arrows being thrown all over. Dive bars work great, and some local places may even be throwing an anti-Valentine’s Day Party. Here in Lancaster, Pa, Brendee’s Pub on W. Lemon Street has thrown them in the past. If you do not have a good location that will be couple-less, opt to stay in or do something unique.

Be comfortable-part of the Valentine’s Day hubbub is to get dressed up for a fine occasion. This is a single’s time to shine in all your sweatpants glory.  Baseball hats, sans makeup, don’t shave, be comfortable, embrace your beer gut. Let it all out: it’s part of the ‘anti-Valentine’ philosophy.

Love yourself for the night. It’s hard to let go of the past, whether it be a broken relationship, the loss of a loved one, or just being stuck in singledom-either scenario considered, it is time to celebrate you for a night that is not your birthday. Order the wine, and the dessert, or the beer, and the bratwurst. Garlic loaded? Why not?

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Comments 1

  1. I have heard of people doing this. Fortunately for me I am not and never have been a fan of Valentine’s day. I think it is ridiculous to express your love for someone just because a date on the calendar dictates that you do. TJ & I never celebrated it as he felt the same way.

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