The Future Has Begun

The month of January is coming to an end and I have been quiet enough only to have published 2 blogs.  I never would have viewed this as an accomplishment, but I have wanted to step away from the super social aspects of life for a while, and I feel that distance has given me some much needed breathing room.

There is a type of suffocation in being too social.

Reading others’ problems, bitching, moaning, concerns, celebrations, photos, and thoughts all affect my life.  They soak through my skin into my heart, mind, and soul and the noise is distracting.  The noise makes me lose focus of my own life and goals.  So I stepped away.  Unintentionally, without saying to the world “I’m taking a break from blogging and twitter” (declaring that always adds in its own drama and concern).  I also ended my commitments with a few other things.  I focused on some goals.

When I did this, my two main goals were to find a new job, and begin editing the book.  I was more successful at one of these.

On February 6 I will begin my new position in advertising sales for a Pennsylvania travel magazine that is based here in Lancaster County.  I am excited, but also nervous and freaked out and self-doubting my talents to the max.

As for the editing of the book, well, I have at least opened it and made a few notes.  Part of taking the break from writing a blog meant I really lost my desire to be active in writing.  This isn’t something I wanted to happen, but now I need to move the time and energy I spent looking for a job into working on the book and pursuing the goal of finalizing the first edit/rewrite.

Even though only one *major* change has happened in the past month, lots of little things have happened too.  I stepped away from a writing co-op.  I changed my twitter name to something that no longer red flagged my widowhood.  My website is currently in a redesign process to be changed over to to encompass ALL of my writing, not just my grief related posts.  My boyfriend and I are at a very comfortable place, a place that looks to the future.  I got asked to become a pianist at a local church (still debating that one).  Life is moving forward.  Life is starting, all over again.

Three years ago when I accepted this current job I am in, it was what I needed to survive.  It complimented my hours as a Nanny and was a good fit to get me a paycheck so I could move back out on my own.  It helped me start life again, go back to school, and was flexible enough to allow me to pursue freelance writing.  And now, three years later, I am making steps to begin life in the way that I desire; that I choose (but can’t control).  A life that I really WANT to enjoy, not a life that I have to live.

It’s a huge step to make changes to begin a life you desire.  Doing it out of passion instead of necessity feels freeing and wonderful and scary too.  Finally I am choosing key points of happiness in my life, and steps that will lead to a FUTURE!

It’s so awesome, very awesome indeed.

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Comments 6

  1. Brenda – I could not be happier for you. It is freeing to be able to move forward comfortably in your life. I am sure you will still have days that set you back a bit, but I have no doubt those days will begin to get further and further apart. Good luck in the new job and please keep in touch…if not through twitter then email.


  2. So happy to see you looking forward. Great changes. Enjoy the ride!

  3. Brenda I think you are taking the right steps. The thing I’ve found is that being “Social” has a dark side as well. It eats up your time, and puts you constantly in the middle of everyone else’s issues. I like you am stepping back on several fronts in order to focus on more important things. My kids, wife and writing. My good friends still know how to reach me if they need me, they just might have to understand that I haven’t read EVERY tweet and they might actually have to talk to me about their day. 😉

    I think this has been good for you!

  4. Thanks Sandy, very much. I’ll still be on social media, but not nearly as much I imagine. I’m excited for what’s ahead, and I will definitely keep in touch with you. Thank you so much for all of your support and keeping me grounded when I want to fly away.

  5. Thank you Joe, I’m looking forward to the ride indeed!

  6. Jason, you said it right – “in the middle of everyone else’s issues”. I have enough of my own to deal with. I’m glad you’re stepping to and enjoying the time with your friends who are there whether you’re online or not. Thanks Jason, I appreciate your support.

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