Today’s my birthday and I woke up in a craptastic mood. In fact, I went to bed in a craptastic mood and apparently it did nothing but brew all night long while I was sleeping. I was angry this morning, but why? My life’s become pretty good, but I was just disappointed, upset, angry.
I hate it when I can’t pinpoint my emotions or assign them to any one thing. Having gone on vacation, I missed a few weeks of therapy and I opted today to enjoy my birthday instead of going to therapy. Next week my therapist is out of town, so that means nearly 4 weeks without therapy-wow. Is this the reason? Am I brewing through stuff because I’m not processing well outside of therapy? How reliant should I be on this?
Or maybe it’s just a down period. It could be that-the low of coming back from vacation. Of it being my birthday. Of visiting Kevin’s grave and stirring the pot. It always does.
It’s raining again.
I feel on hold again with life. Some days I feel progression, other days I’m stuck in the muddy ruts. I’m going to try to look for the positive today even if I’m battling the birthday blues. So, I’ll share some GOOD news, and in that process maybe help some others which will help my mood I do believe!
I got accepted to become part of the NYC Outdoor Nation Youth Summit team. What does this mean? Even though today I’m 27, I’m still considered “youthful” WOOHOO! But it also means I get the opportunity to speak and work on behalf of outdoor conservation and support in NYC the last weekend in June. I get to camp IN NYC. I get to rockclimb, camp, kayak for FREE in NYC. I still haven’t decided if I’m definitely attending due to some schedule concerns, but, I think it’s right down my alley.
I have a goal. I don’t know how it’s going to happen. Frankly, I need to make some more dough between now and December 31, 2011 to make it happen. I want to pay off bills. Basically I want to pay of all my bills (minus student loan debt) so that December 31, 2011 I can be predominantly debt free. Why? Because it will rock, but also because I want to remove some of the roots that have me here in Lancaster. I want to be able to spread my wings without constant budget constraints. I want to know that if I am able to finish my book the end of this year, that if I pay off some debt, I’ll be able to afford to take off some time to travel and promote the book. Yep, that’s the goal. I need your help. Yes, I know I currently work 3-in-1 jobs in addition to my freelance writing, but if you know ways where I can make a quick buck (no independent sales jobs please!) let me know. I don’t really like cleaning, but if it pays well, I can do it. I could wash your car. I could help you with some marketing and business strategies for your business. I could watch your kids for an evening. I could give you beginner tuba and piano lessons. Let me know what I can do for you. I want this goal to go somewhere, and I need your help and focus to make this happen.
I think I had mentioned it before, but I was also invited to speak at Camp Widow in San Diego in August with my great friend Fresh Widow on blogging about grief. I’m EXCITED! Better yet, I have an amazing friend who came through out of the blue to help me afford the travel expenses. I have amazing friends.
Team Sarcoma is hosting 2 events this year! One is a Lancaster Barnstormers baseball game on July 16th in Lancaster. Click HERE to buy the tickets-3 different Sarcoma non profits will get $4 from every ticket sold through this link. We also have a bike/walk/run scheduled for 9/24 in East Petersburg and need sponsors. Click here to see how you can help.
Last but not least my official birthday wish. I’m asking you to donate to the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation who supports families dealing with grief. They are the amazing group putting on Camp Widow this year, and they could use your financial assistance so that more men and women who need the support of others can attend. Click here to donate.
I have a lot of positive, but I need to admit, I need your help to make these things happen and to make them worthwhile. Without people, without support, none of these goals are important.
So on this, my birthday, consider helping 🙂