I’m packing up for my trips to Canadialand :). I am looking forward to the trip, but I know it will be impossibly difficult to be there without Kev. It’s a trip that must be taken, but it’s never easy. I don’t think anything is going to be easy for a long, long time.

I am really restricting myself to what I’m going to do, go, watch, or see. Right now I just can’t handle going out and doing a whole lot-it just exhausts me so much. I find some things are so easy, but then I realize that they’re MY thing. The things I did with Kev, or would have done with Kev, are exhausting.

Packing is hard right now because as I’m trying to find my stuff, I see his stuff. It just hurts a heck of a lot. Overall though, today was really good. I did some shopping, voted, spent lunch with Linda, Ken, and my brother and his fiance. It was just good, but as soon as the sun started setting, like a werewolf, my demons came out.

This is going to be a long, cold winter. I am praying some sun shines through my darkened heart right now. May God give me strength and positive energy.

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