Back On

I think Kev came and gave me a swift kick in the behind this morning. Don’t know why I felt that way, but I definitely got the impression that he was saying, ‘Bren, it’s been almost 5 months. I know you miss me, but seriously, LIVE. Get on with it already.’

I felt energized this morning. I took my vitamins, I packed my gym back (and even when I got to the gym and realized I had forgotten my insoles and had NO inserts in my sneakers, I STILL did 30 on the elliptical!), I ate breakfast, and I didn’t forget anything. Amazing.

Yesterday was so difficult, but so much more so for my Dad, my uncle, and my grandmother. The service was a beautiful testimony to what a humble man of God my grandfather was. He certainly led a life full of faith, and because of that, I was given the gifts that I have now. The gifts I was able to give to Kevin while he was here on this earth. I’m so grateful for that opportunity. I am glad he has a new mind now, and that he’s walking along with Kevin, and with Kevin’s father Al, up in heaven. That above they are watching over us.

…and watching over us going, what are you gonna do with your life?

Will we walk forward from this, from our trials, our desperation, our tragedy, just to work a job that will pay the bills and provide financially? Or will be NOT BACK DOWN and face up to our wildest dreams, our greatest expectations, and the legacies that have been left for us to pursue a world that has peace. A world that has justice. A world that has hope and faith and freedom of persecution, of speech, of religion, of writing…of disease.

I think of all the things we experience in life. How is it tht for some people it can shape them into amazing souls. And others, it just destroys them to the core? There is so much mis-understanding in people that face tragedies. But frankly, without being THEM, we dare not judge.

We are who we are. I hope that I am who I am because of a great family, a great faith, a great God…and a great husband who gave me the freedom to move forward. I want to accept that gift so desperately. I want to cry, but know he embraces me fully still, and wants me to get back in the game of LIFE.

I want life again. I don’t want 2 souls to have been lost to Angiosarcoma. I want 2 souls to have been redeemed because of it. One on earth, and one in heaven.

I’m back on. I really pray, that I’m back on.

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Comments 1

  1. Thanks Brenda, I really needed to hear that today! I’ll be praying for both of us as we press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward. Phil. 3:13, 14

    He is our strength!

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