For those who don’t know, THAT is the link to the freelance writing that I do. I’ve picked up quite a bit more over the past month with it and am doing very well, getting almost every article picked up for an upfront bonus! It’s quite exciting, as it just affirms that my blog stalkers aren’t the only ones that read my writing, haha.
The beach was tough. I went down for the day to Assateague on Sunday, and it was very bittersweet. The day turned out lovelier than expected (originally called for t-storms) with wispy clouds and the sun pounding out 80+ degree heat. I even got a nice (or not so nice) sunburn! Boo hoo. Maybe it will turn to tan? Anyways, at first, it was melancholy, and as I continued driving and felt the warmth of the sun, I felt happy. But once I was in Assateague Park it felt much much different. It just felt lonely. I could picture Kevin sitting beside me in the jeep on our last trip there in September. I could visualize his frustration in never being able to get his rod in the water fast enough. I could sense his anticipation to crack open a cold one, light his favorite cigar, and crank Tom Petty while watching for a slight tug of the line. But there was none of that, because he wasn’t there.
Instead it was me…in his lawn chair, drinking a cold one, unable to light his favorite cigar because of bad matches and high winds, no fishing rod because I wasn’t prepared, and no music. Just me, my thoughts and a beer. *shrugs*. Could be worse I guess.
It was a tough day-I did a lot of crying, talking, pleading. It was difficult-sitting here just reflecting back on the 3 hours I spent on the island, I know it was necessary. It doesn’t make it any easier though. But now I know I CAN DO IT. I can go alone, but his memory will never leave those shores, nor do I want them to. I just wish I could still have him here. It’s swallowing that bitter pill everytime I expect him somewhere. That’s what gets me everytime. It’s something many just cannot imagine.
India. This one came out of left field and BEYOND. I don’t even have anything to explain here, but an interesting email that came across my screen last night from a woman I met at the Hospice grief group therapy back in January. She came with her father, a fellow widower, on the last day of the group. We spoke afterwards, and I learned she was a missionary in India and she was very fascinated with my story. We exchanged emails, but I never got around to emailing her.
My hospice therapist called me about 3x over the past few weeks to put me in contact with her, so finally I emailed her back. She just replied back to me to say she’s been wanting to talk to me about her mission work in India. She met a man in Bombay who had lost his wife of 18 years and she was very touched by his story. Unfortunately, there is no grief counseling or any type of hospice related services in India. She feels that there may be a way I can help, so I’m going to get in contact with her in the next week or so to at least discuss it. I don’t see this being something I am able to do, but if it would be on a short term service (weeks) I would consider it. As I said, it came out of nowhere, so we’ll just see.
The next 3 days I will be spending in JURY DUTY. Local, not federal. Thank Goodness I’ve recently stocked up on some good reading! It says I can bring my laptop, so I’m planning on dragging it in with me to work on some writing in the downtime if possible. Why not work since I won’t be getting paid. 🙂
Ok, I think that’s enough for now. Leave some love-haven’t heard from any of you in a while!