Beef with my Body

Ok, what is my body doing? Ok, I KNOW what it’s doing. I haven’t taken care of it-eating horribly, not working out, stressing, bad allergies-it’s all catching up. My knees hurt, I’ve got tummy issues, allergies are messing me up big time, and I just feel LOUSY. The funny thing is, I kind of don’t care? I mean-part of me can hear that small voice that goes “You shouldn’t eat that”, “You should eat this”, or “Get to the gym, take a walk”, but then my widow/depression voice kicks in and goes “You only live once!” or “It’s ok-it’s comforting-it’ll help you feel better.”

But it’s done none of that-I don’t feel better, but my motivation to eat healthier and work out is zilch. I hope this weekend will be good-the beach, despite snacking a bit, is usually good for my diet. Between unpacking, packing, setting up the tent, fishing, walking on the beach, walking around town, and sometimes even getting to eat fresh caught fish, I usually get my bum in shape.

I miss my body, I miss my brain. I hate this new normal. Bleh.

Ok, that’s my pity party 🙂

I’m leaving for the beach in just over 4 hours. I’m super excited-first time camping without hubby. I don’t feel nervous about it thankfully. I think it’s because camping was always MY thing, and the fishing was always Kev’s. So I got the fishing out of the way-I’m ok with that, but the whole sleeping in a tent alone will be a bit strange. But I’ll be ok….that’s what crickets are for. To keep my ears company. 🙂

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