Broken

Ken and Linda arrived safely here in Lancaster around midnight last night. After some hard hugs, we parted ways to get some MUCH needed rest.

I woke this morning just thinking about everything and going…well, maybe I don’t have to be as sad as I felt yesterday. Maybe every day really does get easier. But right now, I just don’t know. I just sat here reading all your wonderful comments and blessings on Kevin’s short life, and our marriage, and I just miss him all the more.

The thought of never kissing him again, or holding him, or even just hearing his voice absolutely destroys me. I know he is no longer in pain, and this horrible disease doesn’t control our lives anymore, but it still doesn’t help comfort me right now.

Just please be with us today as make the arrangements, which I think will be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Thank you all.

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Comments 15

  1. May God bless you and comfort you and your family. Your beloved is with your LORD! My prayers for you all will continue.

  2. My deepest prayers, and thoughts go out to you and your entire family…

  3. Brenda,

    We are so very sorry for your loss and can not express our deepest sympathies enough for you and Kevin’s family. Kevin was such a happy go lucky guy and he made everyone around a happier person for it. Our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone is hard time. Love Amanda and Tom

  4. Brenda
    I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that it will hurt for sometime but basking in the wonderful memories you have of your time together will ease that ache each day. Take advantage of the love and support of your family and and friends and take comfort in knowing that he will always be with you.

    Karen H.

  5. Brenda,
    I’ve been reading your blogs every day since Kevin’s illness began. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I’m extremely sorry.

  6. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the family.

  7. I am here at work thinking and praying for you Brenda. We are all thinking of you and Kevin and are truly blessed to have met you guys. You can be sad its ok to be sad and cry its a great loss. i am here if you need anything i love you!

  8. I read your blogs almost everyday now. I used to work with Kevin at UPS here in winnipeg. He was a genuine person. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. Take care Brenda. God Bless.

  9. Bren- I’ve known you practically my whole life and even though I first thought you were a boy at age 6, you have always been my friend. I wept bitterly when I heard the news, feeling your pain, but not really. You will carry Kevin in your heart always, and God will take care of you. We are praying for you and both of your families. Know that I am here if ever you need me. Very much love, Em

  10. Brenda,
    I’ve also been following up on this website with Kevins condition ever since Bethany told me about it after I had met you at LGH. I’m am terribly sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  11. Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

    May God grant you the peace that passes understanding in this difficult test of life. Rest in The One who holds creation in the palm of His hand. Know He never intended the world to be this way, but stand assured that He has conquered this world through love and someday, SOMEDAY, all will be as it was intended to be and every tear shall be wiped away by His hand. You are not alone, He is by your side.
    We love you, Brenda. -Bill and Kari

  12. Dear Brenda,
    You are ever present on my mind. Yesterday when I heard that Kevin had gone to meet Jesus I was so saddened, but at the same time happy that he is no longer suffering. It has been such a hard road that you both have traveled these past months. I can’t begin to understand all that you have gone through. But just know that you and all the rest of your mutual families are in our prayers.
    The words to this song have been going through my mind:

    I can only imagine what it will like
    When I walk by Your side
    I can only imagine what my eyes will see
    When Your face is before me
    I can only imagine.

    Surroinded by Your glory
    What will my heart feel
    Will I dance for You Jesus
    Or in awe of You be still
    Will I stand in Your presence
    Or to my knees will I fall
    Will I sing hallelujah
    Will I be able to speak at all
    I can only imagine
    I can only imagine.

    I can only imagine when that day comes
    And I find myself standing in the Son
    I can only imagine
    When all I will do is forever, forever worship You
    I can only imagine
    I can only imagine.

    Blessings,
    Sandi Harnish

  13. We love you so much, bren! We are so sorry to hear about Kev. But your wonderful faith in the Lord will comfort you, and get you through this. You are always on our minds, thoughts, and def prayers! Luv u my WV girly. ~Karen and Aaron

  14. Brenda,

    We are so sorry to hear about Kevin. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as well as Auntie Linda and Kenneth. Kevin was a remarkable man and he was so lucky to have you in his life.

    Love Michelle and Greg

  15. Brenda,
    I have been reading about your journey for the last month or so and want to let you know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers then and even more now. I can not begin to imagine your pain. The strength and courage that both of you showed in the face of this cancer has amazed me. I am praying for continued strength for you in the days ahead.
    (I am Laura Burkholder’s mom.
    Esther Jackson

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