I think part of widowhood is just figuring out what the new right is for me. Sometimes it’s just being independent, and finding out what I need in this life. It’s easier to do that without thinking of someone else whether it be dating or friendship or whatever.
It’s become hard for me to deal with my friend’s concerns and daily issues of their lives because I don’t feel I can be an adequate support to them. I just can’t commit to much more than myself right now, and sometimes I find it hard to even commit to me.
I’m feeling so lost in the shuffle of life-confused about my wants, needs, desires. I truly wish I had Kev to ask these questions to, to seek direction with.
I woke up at 4am and was just consumed with the thought of him. I wonder why..