I guess I am finally hitting that point where Christmas is not so much a drag because Kevin is gone, but it’s a drag because it’s just another “normal” Christmas. Wondering where all the money will come from to buy the presents everyone wants, organizing schedules so that my family, and the new people in my life, are all accommodated and no one’s feelings are hurt. HA!

It’s not that I don’t consider others, but it’s so difficult to keep everyone happy over the holidays. IN fact, I think I see more unhappiness during the holidays than any other time of year. We try so hard to cram in every ounce of holiday spirit that we lose it all instead.

Can’t we just meet up for a nice dinner, exchange no presents, but hugs and candy? That thought makes me smile. A simple Christmas-is there such a thing? The one, only one, Christmas Kevin and I spent together as a married couple was rushing off to to Toronto to spend with his family. It was lovely, and I hope another Christmas soon I get to do that again. But it was also busy busy busy and we missed out on things here because of that.

When we’re all spread so far, and when we all have different ideals of how to celebrate the holiday, how do you keep everyone satisfied? Can you? I know I’ll still feel that a piece of me is missing this holiday season-Kevin should be here to celebrate with me. This year we would probably be heading to Canada again for the holidays, or maybe spending it on our own with a new child. Who knows where we would be at this point in our lives?

I’d love to throw the “ideal” Christmas to the wind, and just enjoy who and what I have without feeling pressured to please everyone.