At a writer’s group on Wednesday, I was discussing the things I wanted to give up and change in my life. I told them about the struggles I was having in my career life, the hopes I wanted for my future now having completed my degree, and the exciting opportunities that I have ahead. I was nearly in tears sharing these things with the group, and one of my friends, Sara of The Covered Wagon, encouraged me to view these changes as committing to the things I enjoy.
I have been looking at all the changes in my life as having to “let go” of things. Letting go, signaling that by giving up something, I will lose more than I will gain. In my brain, this is my fear. What if I make a big career change, will I hate the new setting? Will it bring me joy and stability? Will I be able to complete the tasks at hand? Will it be worth “letting go”?
Several weeks ago I made a priority list and gave up (there I am saying it again!) some things that I enjoyed. I passed on some projects I had started, and I placed on hold some activities that I was looking forward to completing this year. I realized that I could not say yes to everything, or else everything would be lacking.
By “giving up” things, I gain a lot. I can put forward greater effort into the things that are most important to me at this point in my life. Many doors have opened in the past several weeks in the areas of cancer support, and travel writing. I have been handed opportunities, received many congratulations, yet still I feel like I am the one who is still losing.
I want to feel as if I am gaining by committing to the things that are not only the best for myself, but will give the greatest reward to those around me. Maybe part of this loss feeling, is that I feel I am being selfish is receiving these opportunities. I am the one who is reaping the rewards right now, but those who I want to receive the gains, have yet to see them. I want that to change.
One foot in front of the other, I’m going to keep reaching forward to completing the tasks I have in front me, but with a vengeance, with a zest to have a great return on investment.