Growing up conservatively, I’ve been exposed to a lot of judgement, a lot of love, and a lot of the combination. I am not going to get into any religious, moral high grounds on here, but I do want to talk about Judgment versus Love and how exposed I have been to both, especially going through this process.

I think some of us, especially growing up in conservative Lancaster county, tend to be quick to judge. Not everyone, but I feel a lot of judgment flying around rather than full love. I like to gossip, it’s something that we all get caught up in, especially us chicks. I don’t know why, but it’s easy to talk about others’ issues without taking into consideration all the reasons.

I often wonder if people look at me and see widow: heartbroken, suffering, struggling. I doubt they do. Most people probably see overweight 20 something that always looks sunburnt. That’s my outward appearance, and that’s all some of us bother to see about one another.

When I start to judge, I now catch myself and think, Bren, you don’t know what has brought them to this place. They could be another young widow like yourself, they could have lost their parents early in their life, they may be struggling financially mounting bills, they may be suffering just as much as you are in their own circumstances.

We need to love. Not judge, and not judge to show our love. In showing judgment to others, we show them our authority over them, and most times, that is rejected. We may feel we are doing them a favor, that in our judgment our love will shine. Depending who is on the receiving end of that, it could just create a deeper pain, or a realization. I have very rarely seen great realization in judgment. But most times, being approached in love and concern, I have been able to accept new opinions and advice that I hadn’t considered.

We get so focused on right, left, liberal, conservative, goth, geek, and all that’s in between. We fail to see the heart of other’s and only see the outward shell that contains their emotional depth. The outward shell that is only a casing to the battle going on inside.

We all have our battles, our struggles, our pain, our burdens, our life. Loving is nothing more than accepting whether we agree or not. Loving is what God taught us to do. God is to be the judge. We are to love.