Overdone It

I have no self control.

I admitted it, I’m done.  Ok, maybe not.  I like desserts.  I like travel.  I love chocolate.  I like to help.  Find me some fries.  A, B and C will help me feel better.  But now I feel guilty. 

It’s a constant cycle in my life.  I overindulge in a lot of things to “feel better” to fill things missing in my life.  Despite 4 intense months of therapy this is still a big struggle of mine.  After allowing myself the O.K. to say no to things, I said no to some things and yes to tons of other things!  And I overdid it.

My anxiety has been returning.  My backache is at full tilt.  My sleep is a cross between instant pass out and toss and turn with anxiety all night.  I’m not really enjoying my life, I’m just doing a lot of stuff.

I would really love some of you thoughts and ideas on how you have learned to say no.  I want to know how you KEEP saying no.  I want to know how you can keep the guilt at bay.  I want to know how to live my life and enjoy it without saying yes to everything?

HELP.

Brenda Sieglitz

Brenda Lee Sieglitz is an author and public speaker whose topics focus on travel, grief, and nature. Widowed in 2008 at 24 years of age, Brenda is an advocate for sarcoma patients, the widowed community, and conservation through her volunteerism with the National Park Service, Lancaster County Conservancy, Pennsylvania Master Naturalist, Hospice of Lancaster County, Soaring Spirits International, Angiosarcoma Awareness and Highmark Caring Place. Brenda won the 2009 Associated Content “Content of the Year” award, and in 2011 was named one of Wyndham Women’s “Women on their Way”. Most recently her love and loss memoir, Ebb from the Shoreline, won 1st Place Editor’s Choice in Nonfiction at the 2014 North American Book Awards. Sieglitz holds a degree in business and became a Pennsylvania Master Naturalist in 2015. In her spare time, she adores playing with her two nieces, going on family adventures with her husband, stepdaughter and son-in-law, hiking, camping and is working to complete her bucket list dream of visiting all National Park units. Sieglitz has been married to her best friend Dave since 2013 and continues to reside in Lancaster County with their two beagles Scotch and Fina.

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Comments 4

  1. Kirsten Deeds July 25, 2011

    For me, the best way to make sure my energy is focused on the right things is organizing my week and to do lists by “role”. Whether that’s “writer”, “friend”, “mother”. I may not get as much effort on a role into one week as I like, but at least it keeps me focused that I’m giving a little time to everything! And yourself should be one thing you’re also investing in. 🙂

  2. Sandy July 25, 2011

    Brenda, After doing nothing but working and caring for TJ for the last 7 months of his life I was quick to focus on myself after he died. I decided that now, “It is all about me”. I have explained to my friends that I NEED to do what is best for me for a while & I don’t mean to offend anyone when I chose not to attend a “party” or whatever. I am social, so for me it is important to be out with friends, but I believe I also need my alone time to come to grips with what has happened in my life. I schedule weekends where I don’t go out with friends, don’t have friends over & don’t chat on the phone with people. I will do any errands I need to get done before that weekend & when I get home on Friday night after work I don’t leave again until Monday morning. I have learned to cherish these weekends. They not only give me time to get chores done around the house, but I am also able to reflect on my past as well as my future with no interruptions. On these weekends I go to bed early & get up early to take the time to enjoy a cup of coffee as the sun rises & of course, a glass of wine as the sun sets. Just think how much writing you could get done staying home all weekend!

    I only commit to events that I really, really want to do. When friends complain that I am not going I remind them, “It is all about me now & I just don’t feel like doing that”. They usually laugh it off & say they will call me later.

    Brenda, it should be all about you for a while! Try it, I think you might like it.

  3. Brenda July 25, 2011

    I think about all the time I give away to things and others and all that I could be spending on writing, but for some reason I don’t, I choose not to and it’s burning me up. When I come back to calm, to wanting to calm, I feel the need to write, to work on the book, I feel inspired. I suck at this 🙁

  4. Brenda July 25, 2011

    You gave me that checklist a while ago and I haven’t done a darned thing with it. I guess it’s time, huh?

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