Sometimes I feel like I can’t remember him or us. I vaguely do, but as each day passes without Kevin by my side, I feel pieces of him slipping from me. I hate it.

I was reading back through kev’s facebook today-I’ve kept it up as a memorial to him-and it just saddens me. I see pictures of our first Thanksgiving together where we made a turkey in our apartment sized oven, and travels to the beach, and our wedding pictures. All feel as if they’re fading away into an abyss that I can’t grasp any longer.

Today is 7 months.

It is now BEYOND the longest time we have ever been apartment from each other since we first started talking almost exactly 4 years ago (June 4, 2005-the day of my dear friend Ashley’s wedding). So as I approach that 4 year mark of what we considered our dating anniversary since we felt so connected from that first conversation, it also just past that 7 month mark, and the corrolation does not come easy.

I don’t feel relief from his disease. When he first passed, a part of me felt relieved that I no longer had to care for him 24/7. But still, no relief of THAT ever consoles the grief of the bitter taste of loss.

I miss dearly today, reminiscing upon our memories. Wondering if another 7 months from now if I’ll be able to think back upon us and remember each detail. I feel is slipping away, I feel his memory fading.

Today’s a little tough, but tomorrow will be easier…