Some days I am a super robot. I do it all, and I do it ALL. Today has been one of those days. This morning was insanity at work: inputting data most of the morning before my bosses went out, copy copy copy, big project going out the door, getting the ok on my Team Sarcoma event location (YAY!), finding out news on my sister and grandmother that is quite discouraging, and planning ahead my work schedule. I am in robot mode.
I used to thrive on this mode. In high school I somehow balanced working often 1-2 jobs, going to school, participating in concert band, running youth group events, singing and playing in the worship band, and still managing time for friends and family. I did it all, and I had fun doing it. I never felt like I missed out because I did it ALL.
But these days it is so much diferent. My robotic self mode just shuts down all emotion to get the job done. It seems I cannot function if I dwell too much on anything emotional-combining intensity of work and schedule, with my daily emotional trials is nearly impossible. It seems to always be one or the other.
But today it doesn’t feel too bad. For the first time in a while, my busyness feels like a good busy. I have fun things planned, things that are going to change this community, dates and trips that await me, school ending, and new work responsibilites that keep my mind going. It’s a very good busy, I just don’t want to lose me in there. For now I’m swimming, staying afloat, soaking up the sun. I hope this lasts!