When Kevin was diagnosed with cancer, I went to the blog to share our journey. I put it out there so that people would know how specifically to pray, but also so that it would limit the amount of time I’d spend on the phone trying to answer individual questions. I briefly thought that more than my friends and family would read it, but I never imagined nearly 2500 people would visit that blog the day that he died.
I discovered, after his death, that not everyone was that way. I processed things very publicly and still do. Others are very private, and when you encroach upon that boundary, you will meet the barrier which can sometimes come in the form of anger, resentment, or just plain ignorance.
As I hit those boundaries, I felt vulnerable. I had shared nearly everything about my journey and had received tremendous positive support, why wouldn’t they want that? Not everyone does. I was reminded of that this past weekend when meeting Sarcoma survivors at the KIK event. Many only shared directly with me that they or their spouses were survivors. Let it not be known to the public. Now, unlike then, I understood.
We all have private battles we face – some of us deal with them discreetly and some of us let out tidbits of information to the public just to let some steam off. Some never speak of them at all. They may bottle it up, or maybe they meditate about it, or pray and give it to a higher power. All varieties of sharing are different and unique, but whether they are shared with our subconscious or with the general public, that is our choice.
While I still share publicly about my journey, there are parts I do not share. There are moments that I want to keep for myself and that is my choice, not to be judged or blamed for. While I do believe that reaching out for support is the best way one can get through a difficult situation, I know that’s not for everyone. When someone chooses to carry on in a journey and not connect with others, I may not understand, but it doesn’t mean I won’t lift them up in my heart. We all need support, whether it is publicly or prayerfully.