Still Grieving?


1 year, 336 days, edging closer. This time two years ago, Kevin and I were preparing to go on what would have been our very last time at Assateague together. It was chilly weather, much like today’s. Last year at this time I was really questioning where I wanted to be in life, and now, this year, I am still here, but much further.

If I measured my life by the accomplishments since Kevin passed, I come off a success. I can do many many things really well, and some even great. But just because I can do them, doesn’t mean that I should. What am I seeking in wanting to do it all instead of doing what I can?

After returning from an amazing 3 day tour of Pittsburgh this past weekend, I realized yet again, I am overdoing it. Just because I am physically able to do certain things and book myself every minute of each day, does not mean that is what will bring me happiness. I just cannot seem to get away from the habit of overbooking that started when Kevin passed. Do I still believe that if I have downtime that I will not be able to deal with the emotions of grief?

I have to wonder if I have really progressed as much as I think I have, or if I am just so busy that I am not allowing myself to believe that I am still actively grieving in some respects. What are your thoughts?

Brenda Sieglitz

Brenda Lee Sieglitz is an author and public speaker whose topics focus on travel, grief, and nature. Widowed in 2008 at 24 years of age, Brenda is an advocate for sarcoma patients, the widowed community, and conservation through her volunteerism with the National Park Service, Lancaster County Conservancy, Pennsylvania Master Naturalist, Hospice of Lancaster County, Soaring Spirits International, Angiosarcoma Awareness and Highmark Caring Place. Brenda won the 2009 Associated Content “Content of the Year” award, and in 2011 was named one of Wyndham Women’s “Women on their Way”. Most recently her love and loss memoir, Ebb from the Shoreline, won 1st Place Editor’s Choice in Nonfiction at the 2014 North American Book Awards. Sieglitz holds a degree in business and became a Pennsylvania Master Naturalist in 2015. In her spare time, she adores playing with her two nieces, going on family adventures with her husband, stepdaughter and son-in-law, hiking, camping and is working to complete her bucket list dream of visiting all National Park units. Sieglitz has been married to her best friend Dave since 2013 and continues to reside in Lancaster County with their two beagles Scotch and Fina.

Related posts

Leave A Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.