What Would I Be if I Weren’t the Crazy Widow?

Defining yourself is not one easy task.  It is ongoing.  You evaluate all the things that bring you to this point in life.  You ask around about the characteristics that people believe define your existence.

I don’t believe any one of us wants to be labeled as any one thing.  Widow.  Crazy.  The combo.  When I wasn’t a widow, I was wife, but I wasn’t just a wife.  I was much, much more, and today, even more so.

Through becoming immersed in a great online community I have created a persona behind my ‘Crazywidow’ moniker, and it is one of which I am extremely proud.  Prior to blogging regularly and becoming involved in twitter and through that, grief associations, I was a Lancaster county gal just beginning to redeem her love of writing from high school.  It wasn’t “out there” in the world as it is now.  I didn’t go to tweetups and introduce myself as ‘Crazywidow’ instead of Brenda.  Now I do, and people know who I am.  But they have also come to know Brenda, besides widowhood.

Instantly upon coming to my blog and reading my twitter handle you know I’m a widow.  Or in some cases, you think it’s a joke with another symbolism.  For the record, it is not.  I built a “following” of 1100 people on Twitter whom I interact with daily.  The connection made on these online forums have blossomed and allowed me to explore travel writing in ways I never believed possible.  It has given me access to hundreds of other grieving people to interact with.  But now, 3 + years after losing Kevin and 2.5 years after discovering Twitter, I feel the need to recapture who I am online.

I will still feel the need to write about grieving, and it may still remain a central theme on this blog, but my life entails so many other things.  Just click on my media page.  While you will see many articles pertaining to my experience with grief, you will also notice that I’m part of a freelance writing co-op, a women’s music ensemble, an exclusive travel writer for Wyndham, and many more things.  My passions have come along for this ride of grief, and many have been influenced by the recurring theme of living in the moment and enjoying what I can with the talent I have.

So how would YOU define me?  I would like to create one central website to everything.  One person in particular whose blog inspires me in its diversity is Amber Degrace.  She has found a way for all of her talents to be featured in one area, and I’d like to do the same.

I would love some feedback.

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Comments 6

  1. Brenda, first: thank you so much for the shout out!

    Second: when I think of you I think of a woman who is passionate about travel and writing, has a sincere love for music, desire to become a better human every day, and help others do the same. You are full of compassion for others who have walked or are walking the same path you do. You also love your community, which is a great thing as well.

    Good post!

  2. Thanks so much Amber – that helps give me some insight & direction 🙂

  3. Hi Brenda,
    Sounds like you may be getting over the hurtle in your widowhood and figuring out where you belong in this “crazy” world. What about something like…”Finding Brenda”. Your website would be an inspiration to other widows as well. Until we come out of the fog, we definitely do feel crazy!! Great post:) Cindy

  4. l love that “finding” word – it’s very express of daily life for me!

  5. Hmmm… You’re so much more than a widow. You’re kind, compassionate, you desire to see others succeed, you love your town, but love to travel you support local businesses, you’re a writer, a dreamer, a deep thinker, you’re funny, hardworking, independent, you’ve traveled a road that, at 27, I could not even imagine traveling. That’s the Brenda I know.

  6. Undeniably sweet Jess, thank you.

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