I’ve been attending church again. Gasp, I know! I have probably gone to church more in the past two months than I have in the past two years. It’s a big commitment/step. I like to draw things from the sermons, even if, in my brain, I can’t quite take it to the God level. But, I can take it to my level, where I can look at what the pastor says according to God, and see how I can apply it in my life. This past week, the pastor focused on the past, and how it affects our future but does not mean we are our past. I tuned in as he spoke of how who we once were doesn’t determine who we will be.
This morning I asked some of my Twitter friends thoughts they had on moving forward from a tragedy. Here are a few of their thoughts:
-Stop and Breathe
-If you stand still, you stagnate.
-What would I want them to be doing with their life if it had been me who died?
-Slow travels, cautious, difficult, renewing
Some are from friends, and some are from widows. I can tell the differences, but I have seen myself pursue all the above. I have taken the time to stop, breathe, soak it in, yet in the beginning, it was all I could do to keep myself from bolting for fear if I stopped for a moment, it would all fall apart. The thing was, it already had.
Now, as I am living my future, my chapter two, as I prepare for the next steps, I find my path is slowed, that I am evaluating all my moves, the cards that lay ahead. I do think about what Kevin would have done, about what I would have done differently.
What are your thoughts on moving ahead and letting go of your past – not being defined by it, but allowing it to change you for the better without becoming the past?
I think the difficult part is balancing the past and the future. You want your future to acknowledge the past and the “you” that you used to be, but it cannot own or determine the future. That’s such a difficult balance that few people master it. Being genuine to your past while looking ahead and forging a future for yourself that owns your past decisions, triumphs, failures, and influences is something that is a constant life-long tightrope.
Not sure that I have any answers to it, but it’s also a constant struggle for me and anyone who seeks a genuine life that follows your passions.
I just had this discussion with a friend on Saturday. My past has shaped me into what I am today. It changed me deeply and I am very open about it..i.e. blogging, twitter etc. I have a girlfriend that is a breast cancer survivor and she has stuck her head in the sand…she is not proud to be a survivor and will not even mention the word cancer and turns her back on anyone who has cancer.
I guess my point is that we all react differently to tragedy. Even though our reactions may be different the one thing we can’t escape is that it changes us in some way. I don’t believe there is such a thing as “letting go of your past” it will always be there in some form.
Thoughts on moving ahead, letting go of the past – not being defined by it, but allowing it to change me for the better:
I am willing to pursue love even at the risk of being hurt – for me that means having a child after losing one. I am already a better parent to my older child and feel excited to maybe one day be a better parent to a new child. At the same time, I fear for the past repeating itself. In some ways that means that I am still defined by my past.