18 months. 1.5 years. April 28, 2010 marks 1.5 years since I last saw Kevin. But that day, I do not care to remember.
I want to remember April 28, 2008-a weekend where we were most likely at the beach fishing and camping, a world away from hospitals, doctors, and the nightmare. He was healthy, and strong, and we were happy, and calm. No whirlwind, just life.
Now I am nearly back to that point in my life-enjoying relaxation, camping again, finding peace and solitude in nature, the company of others, and embracing life and calm. It is substantially different from what life was 2 years ago, but that’s not to say it is all bad. Different is just that-different.
Tonight, I do something to mark the memory of Kevin permanently. I’m a bit fearful, and a bit of a wimp about it, but have considered and contemplated it for over a year. I’m looking forward to this. And then? Then I NEED NEED NEED to meet with the Memorial company to order his stone. No ifs, ands, or buts about it-it needs to be done. He needs to be marked.
1.5 years ago my life changed, but I am not looking back. I am looking forward, and I know he is smiling down casting sunshine on my future, on my dreams, for my happiness.
Lovely . . . there’s always something of the past in our vision as we look forward, but we do best, as you say, when we glimpse that as we stride ahead into life. May this day be holy for you.