18 months. 1.5 years. April 28, 2010 marks 1.5 years since I last saw Kevin. But that day, I do not care to remember.
I want to remember April 28, 2008-a weekend where we were most likely at the beach fishing and camping, a world away from hospitals, doctors, and the nightmare. He was healthy, and strong, and we were happy, and calm. No whirlwind, just life.
Now I am nearly back to that point in my life-enjoying relaxation, camping again, finding peace and solitude in nature, the company of others, and embracing life and calm. It is substantially different from what life was 2 years ago, but that’s not to say it is all bad. Different is just that-different.
Tonight, I do something to mark the memory of Kevin permanently. I’m a bit fearful, and a bit of a wimp about it, but have considered and contemplated it for over a year. I’m looking forward to this. And then? Then I NEED NEED NEED to meet with the Memorial company to order his stone. No ifs, ands, or buts about it-it needs to be done. He needs to be marked.
1.5 years ago my life changed, but I am not looking back. I am looking forward, and I know he is smiling down casting sunshine on my future, on my dreams, for my happiness.