It has always been a hard concept for me to understand that not everyone wants help. It’s quite funny that I am not good at understanding this, because in most cases, I am fiercely independent to the point of stubborn (just slightly). When it came to widowhood, and to Kevin’s illness though, receiving help wasn’t a hard pill for me to swallow. I KNEW we would not make it without the generous support of friends, family, and complete strangers. I accepted it gratefully, even if I did fail to send the thank you notes.
We are surrounded by people who seemingly need our help. Cancer battles, broken relationships, absent parents, relationship struggles, financial devastation, relatives whom are ill. There are numerous situations that surround us daily in which we wonder “How can I help?” Wondering how we can help, and offering it up is quite difficult. Many people refuse to accept help, and some see it as a complete invasion of privacy to have an outsider give them a hand.
How have you been able to help someone in need? When you needed help, did you push away, or accept gratefully?
Asking for help, and receiving help, does not make us weak. We are human by having needs. We cannot complete every task, or overcome all obstacles on our own, despite what you may think. Allowing someone into your life to help you, gives you both a sense of accomplishment. Pay it forward.
I think as humans, we are social animals. We could not function without the sociaety that surrounds us.
That being said, I have had a fiercely independent streak since I was in diapers. So the whole cancer, chemo, surgery, amputation thing has been, as you put it, a hard pill to swallow. I am forced to rtely on others more than I ever had, and I am eternally gratefull for their support. Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to even function in daily life. I’m still not driving, so I have to rely on others for rides. That has been hard. I’m still not walking, either. There are so many things I can’t do and have to rely on others for help with. It’s difficult. But knowing that I have friends and family who are willing to let me struggle when I say I need to, and willing to step in when I ask for help, that is priceless.
Maybe asking for help shows how strong we are, not how weak. It isn’t easy asking for help. Anyone who has ever really truly needed help knows that.
Amanda, I like you’re last statement: “Maybe asking for help shows how strong we are, not how weak.” It does take a lot to know exactly what you need and even more to ask.