Last night I put up the tree. That, along with unpacking many memories last Friday when I finally “moved in” to my apartment, has been a healthy emotional ride. While I was sad, and definitely a bit depressed about finding some of those treasures, it was much better than the reminds of illness and hospitals and death. Memories of the good times are the ones to be cherished.
I was excited to unpack the special ornaments that Kevin & I got from Niagara Falls, Medora ND, Ocean City MD..and then the new ones that I had gotten in Seattle, Monterey CA, and the infamous handcuffs (Alcatraz) from San Fran. I guess now my tree looks like a funky combo of church ornaments mixed with jailbird. Kind of funny now that I think of it!
It is nice to be at a point of my grief that I can reflect on the good times with cherishing thoughts, instead of focusing on the fact that these memories will no longer be created. Instead, all these new adventures in my life as the crazy widow are solely me. It is scary, intimidating, yet exciting and adventurous.
I am now wrapping up week 2 of a healthy lifestyle change and it is going great. I’ve lost pounds and inches already, and I am actually ENJOYING IT. Kevin would be so proud, but most all, I am so proud of my ability to commit to something. I have let this fear of failure stop me from starting anything, and now that I have let some of that fear go, I feel empowered and not only that, but look at me! I am actually doing this. It’s pretty darned exciting.
Life is good…and when life is good you usually hear less from me I know. It’s time to refocus on school and wrap up the semester on a positive note-think of me and my struggle with concentration on my papers right now. It’s getting frustrating.
It’s nice to come home to good memories, instead of loneliness.