The First New Year

I hope you all had a wonderful, safe, FABULOUS new years eve. Mine was so much fun. My great friend Kris and I got last minute reservations at a wonderful downtown restaurant called “Effie Ophelia”. Everything is cooked in this tiny kitchen, open to the seating area, and it’s all fresh, local food. It’s just wonderful. We had this exceptional 5 course dinner, that was worth more than we paid for it. Soooo good. Then, our friends Shawn, Ashley, and their precious daughter Layla picked us up and took us back to their place to count down to midnight. It was a fun, relaxed evening spent with great friends. And I had fun! Yea!

Yesterday I felt pretty down. After having survived some BIG first baby steps (taking mom to the GI appt, then going to the gym for the first time), I’m feeling pretty empowered, but also sad. The first gym experience yesterday felt GOOD to my body, and I realized that I’m not as out of shape as I thought. Always a good thing. But seeing Kev’s old workout buddies was hard. It made me realize how much they loved/respected him, and that they’re looking out for me. That means so much…

I’ve actually held steady with my new years resolution. I’m eating in fair moderation, and i went to the gym yesterday and today for some great 1+ hour workouts. it feels so good to get my body moving and back. My body is loving this extra energy it’s already getting from just getting moving again. I love it.

This morning after my workout, I hit up central market for some fresh fruits/veggies for my first week back to work, and now I’m enjoying a LATE breakfast at Prince street cafe. I really feel like I’m doing well. I’m feeling blessed by the legacy Kevin has left me. As Dave at the gym told me, Bren, you met your soul mate. You experience something most people never get to experience. That made me feel really good that other people saw that about us. Other people knew that our relationship and marriage was something different. It made me realize that in just over 3 years, I experienced a true lifetime of passionate, sensual, fireworks, soul aching, love. It was amazing. And the memories are truly blessings.

So one minute at a time…I’m enjoying the last few days before entering the world of WORK again. EEK!!!!! I’m really nervous. I feel like its such a huge commitment, even at only 20 hours a week. I think it’s just the overwhelming feeling of committing to something that I haven’t done in 6 months. I just hope I do a good job with the kids, and that they remember me a bit…new routines are hard to adjust to.

I’m looking at some possible vacations this summer…I need to discuss/figure out finances, but once I make my decision I’ll post more. It’s potentially VERY exciting. Just pray that I can make the right decisions, and that I don’t rush ANYTHING. I am truly wanting to commit to 1 year of NON COMMITMENT. That means just taking one minute at a time with life, and not committing to anything huge. That’s why this job is so great, because of the short hours and flexibility. Also pray that I can find another part time job to make some extra money.

Wishing you all an amazing 2009. It’s gotta be better than 2008. God, give me strength.

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Comments 2

  1. I’m so glad that you’ve had some positive things going on, Brenda. Also that you’re allowing yourself a year to find your new direction in life. I’m sure it will be an interesting journey!

  2. Glad to hear from you again. I’ve missed hearing how you are doing. I’ve been praying for you. I pray 2009 is a year that you will look back on with much happiness.
    love and prayers always,

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