Life is constantly in a state of transition. I’m coming down to the last 4 weeks of the semester, the weather is warming to the point of outdoor vacations, I am moving into the dating world, my job is expanding to good things, and I’m continuing to work to be healthier and more active. I am always changing, always evolving.
I am not the women who married Kevin. I think many of my core values, and thoughts on humanity are still similar, but I myself am quite a different person. I am much less vain thankfully, and would rather have a ride on a bike instead of going shopping. I prefer not to brush my hair, and have minimized my basic “girl” necessities to tinted moisturizer, mascara, eyeliner, and deoderant. I am not the girl I once was, and I am proud of that.
Confidence has never been one of my strong suits. I do quite well at putting on the air of self-involvement, but when it comes down to it, I’m always wondering what people think of me, what I do, how I look, etc. It has constantly been one of my weak points in life, but I am transitioning through that. I have come to accept that my eyelashes will always be blonde, that people will forever think I’m burnt instead of just accepting my naturally red skin tone, that my face is oily and my skin is dry, that I have chubby genes, brittle nails, tie my shoes weird, and has slightly webbed toes. But I have great eyes, a warm smile, an understanding heart, full hair, petite cuteness, and a flair about me that is unlike any other. I am me, consistently.
I’m enjoying figuring out who I am, and not again. This time figuring out “me” is truly about me. Am I the girl whose super girly? At times, but most times I’m the tough girl, the one who’s competitive, slightly bossy, and knows what she wants, yet is still annoyingly indecisive. I love all kinds of food, I like to wear dresses and heels, but even more I love my clogs and hiking boots. I can deal with mud for a little while, but I prefer a mud mask. I hate when my hair gets greasy, but I adore hats which makes that much more bearable. This is a bit about me.
I can’t say that I’ll ever nail down my life, or figure out a core me and constantly stick with that, but I am enjoying this version of me, in this time. I wonder sometimes if Kevin would have fallen in love with this girl. I don’t know. I think so, but who knows. That was another life, another time.
So here’s to another life, another time, with the new version of me.