I feel like I am definitely getting the right tools to deal with this grief. I am actually anxious for my grief counseling appt tomorrow. I’ve been talking about it, and around it, but not in depth. Being able to speak to an outside party about everything will be good for me. I am ready to equip myself with the right tools. I don’t know that I will ever have the “right tools”. I feel like we all have different tools in our belt to deal with these things. Right now, friends and writing are so god for me.
It’s still so hard to imagine he’s not here. The pain of that never goes away. It is beyond the point where I think maybe he’s just gone for a while..it’s true, and it hurts deeply. This life without him, this BRAND new life, is so hard to begin. Where and how do I start? I don’t have tools to begin this..I’m hoping to prepare myself with this counseling, with my friends, and with travel and writing and faith. The things that make me happy are these…and I hope that never ends.