How do you find balance?
Several months ago it was about finding a job that suited my financial and gift needs: check.
Then it became about creating a schedule that made time for work and social life: check.
Now it’s about finding time to make my health a priority. This one always seems to be #3 on the list and never makes it to #1. I will try and commit to taking care of myself for several weeks, and then I’ll slide off again and sink into old habits. Last week I began my fast break goals with Sparkpeople for the umpteenth time. I have been a member of SP since 2007, and I have lost 30 pounds (but also gained it all back). It’s not that it doesn’t work – it DOES, I just can never stick to it. Once I think I’m doing well and go it on my own, I falter and backslide. This time, I hope that’s not the case.
Putting myself in a #1 position isn’t me, nor how I was raised. I like to help others, give my time and portions of me away in hopes of making the world a better place. What is happening though, is that I keep losing me in this process. I get sick. I gain weight. I become tired and irritable. Depression creeps in. It’s not that I can’t help others, it’s that I can’t help everyone all the time.
I feel guilty about the fact that this year I’m not planning on hosting a Team Sarcoma event. I feel I should *do something*. I feel like I am letting down the local families who enjoy these annual events. I feel guilty for not being able to step in and help families in need where they are struggling. I feel guilty about not being able to volunteer my time and energy to things that sound fun and rewarding. Guilt is overcoming.
How do you conquer guilt to make time for yourself? How do you balance your life? The need has been here all along to take care of myself, but every single day I struggle to make it happen. Suggestions appreciated.